Girl I Can't Believe I Body Shamed Myself!

Sunday, May 06, 2018

New York is literally my second home.  The moment my foot hits the concrete jungle's floor, an inner nostalgia is fulfilled.  But this time was different.  There I was on what I thought was a random stoop in Manhattan--posing for an impromptu photo shoot. I low key was feeling myself.  New Yorker's showing me love screaming "I love your hair"... "Work it Girl"... But...

... the blasts of car horns screamed louder.  Naturally I grow nervous and bashful and I start body shaming myself.  I felt judged. I felt overwhelmed with emotion. Despite this idea of  wanting to feel "savage"or "unapologetic", instead I felt so insecure and uncertain.  Even my posture changed, my focus shifted and my fear convinced me to just give up.

Thank God for such an amazing friend, who noticed immediately the shift in my confidence and redirected my negative thoughts into positive energy.  She minded me of my personal goals and how an audience shouldn't make me second guess anything I'm working toward.

And she couldn't have been sooooo right.  So when I returned back to my hotel, I begin looking through the photos.  I could see for myself how with time, my confidence hit the floor.  But something else caught my attention.

I wasn't actually standing on some random stoop.  In fact, I was in front of the Fountain House!  The Fountain House is a Non-Profit organization dedicated to the "recovery of men and women with illness by providing opportunities to live, work and learn". 

Wowwwwwwwwwww..  As The Stylish Ego, my focus is toward mental health but with a fashion twist.  While body shaming may not be considered a mental illness, it can lead to it.  And this moment became a reminder of my goals.

Girl, I can't believe I body shamed myself.  Nonetheless, this experience made me refocus.  I am determined to dedicate myself to you guys.  I am never going to give up.  I am going to keep pushing and keep moving forward.

I hope that by sharing my experience, you too can wake up and realize that you are where you are for a reason.  Nothing is ever done by mistake.  Even if it's not where you thought you wanted to be or do, there's a purpose for your presence.  In the meantime, don't focus too hard on not getting where you're going, but find a way to make something happen right where you are.

Until Next Time,

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